“Because brothers don’t let each other wander in the dark alone.”
– Jolene Perry
warning: contains swearing
I feel like you let me down. You know, Mom left me and Dad, and because of that Dad’s starting to go crazy. I’m telling you! It’s all your fault. You broke up the family, and you left me to deal with it all on my own.
And for that, I hate you.
Why were you such a party animal? Why did you have to sneak out and go to that one party that was pretty much your fucking death?! Why’d you have to fuck up?
Because you fucking up, was the end of everything. Nothing feels normal anymore. Everything just feels like shit, and I can’t function like I used to.
You know Mom and Dad loved you more. They looked at you like you were the effing Golden Child, and I was the invisible one. Everyone swore you would be going to that fancy college upstate, and everyone was pretty sure you were going to get the team to nationals. But that didn’t happen cuz you fucked up.
I hate you Cody. I hate the fact that I wasn’t the one dead. I think things would’ve been better off that way, don’t you think? Me dead, and you alive?
Some days I find myself thinking of some memories we shared, especially when we were young. I remember one time when we were at the water park, there was some kids who were picking on me. I was 7 and you were 11. You came over to them as they called me names, and told me I wasn’t cool enough for their group. And do you know what you did? You told them they weren’t cool enough for OUR group. You pointed at me, and at your friends who were over at the pull, who waved at us. If there was one thing I could commend you for Cody, you always made me look cool. Everybody knew who I was because of you. I still wasn’t the Golden Child, but I was someone, even if that mean’t I was sometimes invisible.
Cody, just so you know, I have friends now. Not because you were my brother, and because someone felt pity for me. But because I do what seems cool nowadays. There are some things that I don’t want to do sometimes, but I still do ’em.
I ain’t much different from you, am I Cody? You did the things I do now to stay cool. I go to the big parties, I work my ass off to stay number one in the sports I’m in. And gradually is my name becoming more known around Warner. I’m not known as that-one-guy-who-overdosed’s brother.
I’m Simon Moore.
It’s almost synonymous to cool. CHAMP. Don’t ya think?
Also, I sometimes disown you. People don’t even think I’m related to you anymore, I say I’m the only child. It’s easier that way. People don’t look at me like some stupid effing sick puppy.
But regardless Cody, some days you still come up. It may be in a conversation, or when the coach speaks of breaking a record, or at an anti-drugs assembly. You still haunt me everywhere I go.
This is what you get Cody, for letting me down. I felt lost for a little bit after you died, but I think I know what I’m doing.
I’m still angry at you, I still resent you terribly, and I don’t think you’d be particularly fond of my actions. But who gives a fuck?
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A/N: Tell me what you guys think.
Please comment below and I’ll surely reply.
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Copyright © 2016 by Meia and Yuna Reid